out of the closet.....mostly
As i have mentioned before i love research. Even before i got pregnant i would ask questions of friends and relatives about anything and everything to do with pregnancy and childbirth. I felt that if i had enough info making good decisions would be just that much easier. When i actually got pregnant i realized i had not even scratched the surface of what i needed/wanted to know because after i gave birth it struck me that the hospital expected us to take the baby home and become parents...forever.
So i, two weeks away from my due date, started reading parenting books and boy was i surprised at how much was out there. And i used to work at one of the biggest book stores in Lexington so imagine my surprise that i seemed to have missed the huge area titled "Parenting". I read expert after expert some made sense, some did not and some i did not even make it past the table of contents. We had already decided to breastfeed and use cloth diapers and a trusted friend recommended i read a book about Attachment Parenting. I do not remember the title but it was one of the books that i will admit that i did not read past the table of contents. It just seemed a little to much for me and a little too well "hippy". We kind of abandoned our search with a little frustration because nothing really struck a chord with us and we figured when the baby arrived we would revisit some of the books again.
In the meantime i went on a search for a good sort of baby book, like a how to or a manual that would sort of include the basics in care for the baby we were awaiting. I found one and also picked up a breastfeeding book. I was standing at the checkout when a former co worker and new mom mentioned that i should look as the Dr. Sears Baby Book. She was quick to mention that it had both the baby care basics and great breastfeeding info and that she had loved it and still used it. So i bought it and read it and Shawn read it as well. Amelia came a week early and away we were on our journey as parents.
After bringing Amelia home a strange thing started to happen. She was a great eater from the beginning and i wanted to make sure i had the supply to keep up with her. So i drank lots of water and rested and checked the Dr. Sears book to maybe get a few more pointers. It suggested napping close to baby. It made sense to me so i tried it and my supply seemed great. Amelia was a little fussy in the beginning after Shawn went back to work i tried a few things to soothe her, a few suggested by other moms and a few suggested by other books and none meet with great success. My goal was to be able to maybe make myself a sandwich or read a book without the baby getting fussy...i kept think if only i had two more hands i could hold Amelia and do a few things around the house and so i went back to the Dr. Sears book for any advice. He recommended a baby sling or carrier. That made sense to me so i started using my little peanut shell sling and started "wearing" Amelia during her fussy times. She loved it and i felt a little more human.Then came the big one, one night maybe 3 weeks after she was born Amelia had a very fussy night and all she wanted to do was nurse and so after maybe trip number three to get her out of her bassinet we put her into our bed and all 3 of us slept like babies. The next night we put her into her bassinet and after her first feeding she was back in bed with us. We kept the bassinet in our room as sort of a way to ignore the fact the she was pretty much sharing a bed with us. We had adopted practices that worked for us at the time.
As i read further and further in the Dr. Sears book i came upon a section about Attachment Parenting and as i read i came to accept that we indeed had become "those" parents in many ways. Things that seemed so way off before we had our baby had now become almost second nature. And yet i was still hesitant to use that label. As with all labels i feel they are limiting and a little misleading. Do i still breastfeed and intend to for a least a year or more....yes. Do we share our bed with Amelia...yes. Do i wear her in a sling whenever possible on our outings...yes. Does that mean that now we must follow every little nuance and idea put forth under the Attachment Parenting guidelines.....NO. We will continue to do what we feel works best for Amelia and our family. I know that the way we do things may be a little different than some as well as very similar to others. I am very proud of the choices Shawn and I have made for our family even if it has taken a bit of time to "come out" about them. I fully respect the choices other parents make for their children and family i only ask for the same in return. As parents all we can really do is what we feel is best for our children. I pray daily and some days hourly for the courage and strength to be a good mother and these are simply the tools i feel God has given Shawn and i to do that.
I am not apologizing for the way we parent just like i would never expect any of our friends and family to apologize for the way they parent. I have seen parenting differences come between friends and family and i only hope that we can all find it in ourselves to be supportive and loving of each other.
So i, two weeks away from my due date, started reading parenting books and boy was i surprised at how much was out there. And i used to work at one of the biggest book stores in Lexington so imagine my surprise that i seemed to have missed the huge area titled "Parenting". I read expert after expert some made sense, some did not and some i did not even make it past the table of contents. We had already decided to breastfeed and use cloth diapers and a trusted friend recommended i read a book about Attachment Parenting. I do not remember the title but it was one of the books that i will admit that i did not read past the table of contents. It just seemed a little to much for me and a little too well "hippy". We kind of abandoned our search with a little frustration because nothing really struck a chord with us and we figured when the baby arrived we would revisit some of the books again.
In the meantime i went on a search for a good sort of baby book, like a how to or a manual that would sort of include the basics in care for the baby we were awaiting. I found one and also picked up a breastfeeding book. I was standing at the checkout when a former co worker and new mom mentioned that i should look as the Dr. Sears Baby Book. She was quick to mention that it had both the baby care basics and great breastfeeding info and that she had loved it and still used it. So i bought it and read it and Shawn read it as well. Amelia came a week early and away we were on our journey as parents.
After bringing Amelia home a strange thing started to happen. She was a great eater from the beginning and i wanted to make sure i had the supply to keep up with her. So i drank lots of water and rested and checked the Dr. Sears book to maybe get a few more pointers. It suggested napping close to baby. It made sense to me so i tried it and my supply seemed great. Amelia was a little fussy in the beginning after Shawn went back to work i tried a few things to soothe her, a few suggested by other moms and a few suggested by other books and none meet with great success. My goal was to be able to maybe make myself a sandwich or read a book without the baby getting fussy...i kept think if only i had two more hands i could hold Amelia and do a few things around the house and so i went back to the Dr. Sears book for any advice. He recommended a baby sling or carrier. That made sense to me so i started using my little peanut shell sling and started "wearing" Amelia during her fussy times. She loved it and i felt a little more human.Then came the big one, one night maybe 3 weeks after she was born Amelia had a very fussy night and all she wanted to do was nurse and so after maybe trip number three to get her out of her bassinet we put her into our bed and all 3 of us slept like babies. The next night we put her into her bassinet and after her first feeding she was back in bed with us. We kept the bassinet in our room as sort of a way to ignore the fact the she was pretty much sharing a bed with us. We had adopted practices that worked for us at the time.
As i read further and further in the Dr. Sears book i came upon a section about Attachment Parenting and as i read i came to accept that we indeed had become "those" parents in many ways. Things that seemed so way off before we had our baby had now become almost second nature. And yet i was still hesitant to use that label. As with all labels i feel they are limiting and a little misleading. Do i still breastfeed and intend to for a least a year or more....yes. Do we share our bed with Amelia...yes. Do i wear her in a sling whenever possible on our outings...yes. Does that mean that now we must follow every little nuance and idea put forth under the Attachment Parenting guidelines.....NO. We will continue to do what we feel works best for Amelia and our family. I know that the way we do things may be a little different than some as well as very similar to others. I am very proud of the choices Shawn and I have made for our family even if it has taken a bit of time to "come out" about them. I fully respect the choices other parents make for their children and family i only ask for the same in return. As parents all we can really do is what we feel is best for our children. I pray daily and some days hourly for the courage and strength to be a good mother and these are simply the tools i feel God has given Shawn and i to do that.
I am not apologizing for the way we parent just like i would never expect any of our friends and family to apologize for the way they parent. I have seen parenting differences come between friends and family and i only hope that we can all find it in ourselves to be supportive and loving of each other.
